MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Free genealogy - Vintage pictures

[	Current Location	|	bukit panch	]
[	mood	|	blank	]
[	music	|	Stef Sun	]

Im on a SUPER emo trip now and so i wanna write down all my feelings

Im not exactly in the best phase of my life now but im blessed to have so many amazing people in my life to help me get thru this.

Keith, you are the one person in my life that i cannot live without. You been there for me everytime i needed someone. Though we are geographically challenged, the connection that we share will never be taken away. All the best times in my life , has you in it and those are memories i will keep forever. Do you remember there was one crazy point of time where we felt so connected we even thought that maybe we were "the one" for each other? hahha. that was so so sick. We always think of the future, what we'll be, where we'll be and in it, there'll always be the both of us. This friendship is something that i will always work to keep up, love love burger.

Shawn, we have had our differences, our share of anger and lotsa rough times. But i know that at the end of the day, you will definitely still be there when i need you and thats a fact that wont change. We've come this far from what we started as and i wont be ready anytime at all to let it slip away. Ive been trying and i know that you have been trying too.

Javius, i know you most probably wont be reading this, but i still have to say that although we dont go out much anymore, i sincerely appreciate the fact that you will take time and call me every once in awhile to ask how im doing. Im so happy for you now that you've found your happiness after all that you've been thru, and i'll always be here if you ever need me.

Alcan, we've known each other for like the lonnngest time. Ive seen your evolution from what you were to what you've become now. And YES i can see your efforts to change and you HAVE changed. To be a much better person now, i dont express my feelings much but i know what you've been doing as a friend. People like you have already gone into eXtiNctioN and there will never be another one of you, cause you're special.

Kieran, though we havent had much time to get to know each other better, i can feel that you are a person that is so sincere and so real. You are who you are and nothing should change that. I will definitely be working hard to keep you in my life because a friend like you is hard to come by.  We will always be there for you whenever you need someone. Hold on to what you believe in and eventually , you will find your pot of wawa at the end of the rainbow.

Corey, i would have never thought that 2 of us would come together at all. We came from such different places but somehow or rather, we managed to connect to each other emotionally. You once said to me that you're a "stayer" abd i trust in that. Now that we've got the foundation, we have to work hard to keep what we have and move on to another better part of our lives.

Jon, from the first time i heard of your existence, i knew that you were someone special, one that knows what he wants and works hard for it. You;ve been inside the best memories that i've had in my life and im so thankful for that. Regardless of what our lives have in store for us, i beleve that if we all work hard enough, we still can come together and create more and even better memories.

Val, from the bottom of my heart in all honesty, we both havent really got the chance to get to know each other. Though little that i know of you, i can tell that you are a very good and true friend to whoever you let into your heart. having a friend like you makes us feel safe because you are always looking out for all of us. We will definitely keep you in our hearts and be there for you to share all your happy and sad moments in your life.

Ethan, i totally heart you for who you are haha, ive only been able to get to know you a little more on my last trip. You're such a sweet guy! Im in no position to teach you things la, but its about time we all start thinking bout whats important in our lives and get serious. Maybe you are sometimes misunderstood, so you should try to try to express your feelings more because i believe theres more to you to be learnt by everyone. btw, i will nv forget the lip balm up your nose!!

Alvin, we have so little time to spend together!! but deep in my heart i can sense a kinda connection that we could have if we had more time to develop the friendship to another level. You care for your friends and you treasure all the moments spent with them.We are all at different points of our lives now but i sincerely believe that one day, we will all be together again as long we have the determination.

[	Current Location	|	-	]
[	mood	|	uncomfortable	]
[	music	|	-	]

I feel the fire need to write this down because i know that this is something that i wont forget.

I just woke up from a terrible nightmare 10 mins ago, i swear nothing beats this, im still sweating and shaking from the "ordeal"

Ok i'll try my best to tell the dream in full.

Its probably a weekday night and i was out for dinner or something with 2 friends(not gonna mention who). I have no idea where this place is but i keep "hearing" that it is somewhere near Balmoral Plaza.

Im pretty we were done with dinner but somehow i was alone wondering outside the building. Im guessing i was waiting for my 2 other friends to come out from the toilet or something. *break* OK at this point of time i realized while typing this, all the words that can come to my mind are words like probably , maybe, something. *break*

So i was wondering outside pacing up and down, there were no other people except for this 2 malay guys(NOT being racist) dressed very shabbily, dirty and all. I remember seeing a Restaurant, the main entrance in the middle and a LAN shop on the ground floor of the building.

The ME in the dream somehow felt that something felt amiss but didnt do anything but wait for my 2 friends to get out. Then all of a sudden the lights of the building all went out and police cars were parked outside the main road of the building ( i'll try to do a really simple map of the area). There were policemen armed with the guns pointing at one of the malay man who literally looked like a zombie walking towards the police, hands outstretched and all, as if he was surrendering to them. He has this look as if the life was sucked outta him.

As i was already feeling something was amiss earlier, i found myself pacing up and down nearer to the guardhouse towards the exit of the complex, but when the lights went off and the policemen in position, i got momentarily stunned and i found myself squatting down at where i was walking before. There was alot of shouting and stuff from the policemen to the 2 malay men.

i dont quite recall this bit but i think i was somehow really near to the zombie-looking guy walking towards the police, so when i looked up at him , i snapped and i got up and starting running further back away from the guy. At this point of time my 2 friends were already outside but standing further behind as they just exited the building. 

As i was running i saw the other malay guy standing a distance away from the first holding a gun to his own head. I freaked out on sight of a gun and i stopped in my track. I remember feeling something like oh-my-freaking-god-he-has-a-gun-he-has-a-gun-he-has-a-gun.  THEN the police were probably shouting something like dont move dont move(but apparently i did cuz i was freaked and started running). I remember squatting down again somewhere near the guy holding a gun to his head cuz i was like paralysed after i saw a gun in his hands i couldnt move. I looked at him for like a mere 2 seconds, he took the gun and fired at me. Everything went black. FYI i felt the impact of the bullet, something really strong hit me and threw me onto the ground.

After that , everything i saw was like as a third party, as if i was dead and my ghost was there to witness wat happened next.
I have no recollection of wat happened to the 2 malay guys but i saw myself, my DEAD self crunched up on the floor with my brains blowed out.

Next thing i remember was this incident appearing in the papers. They even have a short "interview" of something i told someone b4 it all happened. This part i dont remember, but in the papers the quote read something like "I feel something was amiss and something bad was gonna happen, but my friends are not out yet".

The 2 malay guys were wanted by the police because apparently they were "suspects" of a assasination attempt on some important guy i dunno who, and the police were ordered to track them down and capture them to prevent any further attempts of assasination.


Ok im done with the dream. It doesnt seem complete i think but that is all that i can remember. 

Below is the "map" of how the area was like.

[	Current Location	|	Singapore	]
[	mood	|	blank	]
[	music	|	You Had a Bad Day, Daniel Powter	]

After much delay and fear for national service, im finally enlisted thru already with my BMT. Having a 2 weeks break and waiting for my posting now before im back to army life again.

im 20 this year already and that goes to show how time flies, all my friends have all grown up, matured and more or less doing something about their lives. I still have 22 months of national service ahead of me before im back to the normal life where i can decide how i want to lead my life from then. I do regret wasting 2 years of my time by not enlisting in the army early and doing nothing constructive for myself but i guess thats a bad choice i've made and i have to live with it now.


Love-o-meter - 0/10
Life-o-meter - 1/10
Friends-o-meter 10/10
Health-o-meter 7/10
Bore-o-meter 10/10

There has been this unresolved anger and bitterness towards life that i've been having recently and i cant quite put my finger on why i feel this way. Im praying hard that there'll be something happening to me in my life that can help me understand or even better resolve the issues that im having cause its draining me and making me more and more tired by the day.

TIll then, peace out